What do I do?

I miss him. Thats all I can say right now...

Remember to Forget

So I guess it's over, there's nothing left to say.
Take the ring off my finger and just call it a day.
Thought we had forever, but that was yesterday. 
You're such a liar, wish I saw it on your face. 

But you did it so well,
Can somebody just tell me how..?

How can I remember to forget? 
When my heart just won't let me.
Make myself un-love you, tell me that it's not true.
I know all the reasons, but I just can't believe them,
and pretend we never met. 
How can I remember to forget?

Wish that I could hate you, so I could 
let you go. Wish I never met, the 
one I want the most.
I could fill an ocean, with all the tears I've cried.
Tell me you were joking, just a dream I had last night. 

But I'm wide awake and, 
I want you so much right now. 

How can I remember to forget
these emotions and all the plans we made? 
Like we never happened, make my heart a break. 
I know we're clearly over but I just don't know how..
How can I remember to forget? 
When my heart just won't let me. 
Make myself un-love you, tell me that it's not true. 
I know all the reasons but I just can't believe them.. 
And pretend we never met. 
How can I remember to forget? 

One day at a time

In the beginning I guess it's normal to feel this way.


Okay maybe not so cliche...
But I'll get through this, and hopefully one day I'll be able to say this...



I guess people come into your life and leave your life for a reason. But that doesn't mean it makes it any less painful. On the bright side, ... okay I can't think of anything at the moment...I guess I can only take one day at a time, deleting these 421 days...

Anyway, youtube is like my therapy right now heh... Not sure why I'm reliving memories over and over again but it's fine. I'm fine.

Just gonna end off with this video...

Worthless

Why does everyone give up on me so easily?
This hurts so bad...

Love is a dream... That should never come true

Jeryl...

 Why are you so weak?

Why are you such a coward?

Why are you so blind?

Why are you letting this affect you so badly?

Why can't you ever say how you truly feel?

Why do you exist...

No one else

Haven't been feeling too great lately... But I don't really have anyone to talk to these days so I guess this blog was my last resort. I guess school has been pretty stressful and I'm pretty affected by it.

I really don't know how to put what I'm feeling into words. Probably just stressed out, confused and disappointed? I really don't know hat I'm feeling either. This just sucks.

Why am I so affected by everything when you can't be bothered... sigh...

Happy day with my happy pill

Went out with my happy pill on Thursday(:

To be honest, it felt really good to have just a day to ourselves to relax and just catch up. Seeing as if we have so little time these few weeks.

So I don't really wanna bore you guys with whatever we did but basically, ice-skating and Step Up: All In were part of the agenda(:

Chubz was real cute on ice I swear haha. But that aside, I wish we could have more days like that. But no... A levels have to be in the way...Sighh. Oh wells. just 50 more days to go.

I'm actually pretty freaked out... I don't feel prepared at all... I mean. seeing my prelim results and all... I just don't have the confidence. 

So... tomorrow is my birthday haha. Don't really wanna attend lessons tomorrow though. I haven't even finished my holiday homework TT.TT Okay, I did for math and I'm almost done for Chem but I haven't touched physics at all!!! I feel so guilty. Physics is my worst subject yet I hardly put in any extra effort. But I just can't!!! I feel as if I can't do any questions at all!!! URGH... okay I'm starting to ramble...

Whatever it is, I hope I can get into a decent course(:

Bonding with the class

I guess plans change all the time haha and let's just say some of them are worth it. And I finally managed to go for the BBQ with the class!!

Truth be told, I wasn't very excited about the BBQ. In fact, I was merely hoping that it wouldn't be awkward seeing as our class doesn't really hang out a lot together. But I guess it proved me wrong haha.

Going there was a bit of a problem. I met Aloy on the train there and trust me when I say it was pure coincidence coz we were on the same train, same carriage, same time so all I can say is TRACKERS ARE AWESOME! Anyway, seeing that both Aloy and I are direction idiots, we took about an hour "trekking"before we got there. That crazy guy went and took us on a field trip around the pond WTH. But we got there in the end of course, with the handy GPS.

Most of you that know me, know that I don't know how to play bridge haha, but after Friday, I guess oyu could say I'm a pro. (OR NOT HAHA) But basically I finally learnt how to play bridge. We spent like half the BBQ playing that stupid game and thank god Yi Xuan brought 2 packs of cards or else who know what the other half of us would be doing...

Our Co-CT (aka Mr Lim) came along too! I guess you could say that he's ALMOST permanently attatched to our class that's why we call him our Co-CT. Or CT wasn't able to make it coz of other commitments but oh wells.

I guess I don't really have much to say about the BBQ... You really have to be there yourself to experience the fun haha. Though our first class outing might have come a little late, but I guess better late than never huh? (: I really do hope that we have more of such outings!!!

Sorry for the poor quality! This was taken really late into the night. But credits to Mr Lim!

Post-Prelims

It's kinda sad how my class is only gonna have our first class outing this Friday and I can't even attend. Sigh pie... I mean, the class is already pretty segregated as it is, I just wish we could hang out more.

I see other classes hanging out together and sometimes (okay most times) I get really jealous. I've always hoped that my class in JC would be really bonded but I guess things never go as you plan heh.

Putting that aside, post-mortem has been pretty freaky. Especially Chem. You know that feeling you get when you know how to answer and you feel that your answeris 100% correct but the markers just dont give you the mark because they're being annoyingly strict? Yeah, I had that feeling throughout my paper 2. Sighhh...

And we'll be getting back math tmr I think and econs on Thursday. This is so freaky I swear. I've never been so scared to receive results before. Besides O levels but that's on a whole other level.

It seems as if my whole life now revolves around As. And I guess it does but sometimes I just wish JC is 3 years so at least we get to relax a little bit. I can't cope well under stress at all urgh.