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To be really honest, there really aren't words to describe my feelings about 2014.
To say it passed by real fast would be a lie, but to say that it has been way to long, would be a flat out no.... So I have no idea haha,
There have been so many significant moments in 2014... More lows than highs I should say, but either way, I'm thankful to have lived through it.

Although there is one thing that I'm very sure I can say about 2014: It is the most painful year I've had in my whole life. In more ways than one.
A levels passed by in a flash and but thinking back, I couldn't wait to stop having to study alone. My emotions have been a real roller coaster this year it's not even funny heh. When 2013 ended, I had never expected 2014 to be such a killer.
I've died plenty of times on the inside but I guess I was strong enough to survive my internal battles till now. Though I have no idea how long I can keep up this facade...hmmm....

On another hand, 2014 has been a year of a few firsts.
For example: My first time working, My first time losing someone I really love.
I've learnt so many lessons but whether I've really grown through them is another question.

Doubt.
That has been a major emotion this year.
Doubt about how well (badly?) I'll perform for my exams. Doubt about my friendships (acquaintance?) with people. Doubt about how strong (weak?) I am. Doubt about my importance (or lack of?).
You kinda get the point...

If you had to ask me if I go "redo" 2014, I really wouldn't know what to say. But of course, there are many regrets that I'd like to fix but I guess that's life. We're not in control of it at all...

So I guess I'll blog till here. Some emotions are better to be kept hidden. I've already given away too much heh. Till next year then. Hopefully it'll be much better.

Australia 2014

I guess the title says it all(:
So yes, I just came back from my trip to Australia with my family. Pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Haven't been there in (exactly) 10 years and the place has changed a lot.
I took some videos to compile and show you guys so you an view it at the end of the post(:
For now I shall just blog about the trip and hopefully it won't bore you hehe.

Day 1
We left midnight on the 11th. Technically it was 12th but whatever, if I haven't slept, a day hasn't passed(:
So since this trip was pretty much free and easy, my parents decided to have a go and try taking a budget flight. To be honest, besides having no entertainment and no food, it was pretty much almost the same as every other flight I took. But let's be honest, food and entertainment are pretty important haha!
Anyways, we reached Mascot airport in Sydney at about 4-ish? I didn't really take note of the time. But after registering for 2 cars (My relatives came along as well), the trip had officially begun.
Of course the first day was the most boring one of course. We went to Paddy's Market first if I'm not wrong. And no, it's not a real market. It's sort of like Bugis Street in Singapore? Only less crowded and bigger.
Following that we went to stock up on tidbits and all those stuff. Nothing really interesting. But since Australia has really short days, (the stores usually close at 6 on average!) we still had lots of time left so we decided to visit the Sydney Opera House since my cousins haven't been there but guess what? We took a freaking hour to get there when it should have taken 10 mins! The GPS that the car company rented to us was a freaking joke! Luckily my mum bought a prepaid card and we managed to use google maps to get around.

Day 2
So the second day was a wee bit more interesting. After breakfast at McDonalds, we went to a fruit and vegetable market. Apparently my family used to go there a lot when we lived there.
Anyway, they got tons of fruits at a real cheap price! Imagine a whole box of mangoes for just AUD$5!
So afterwards we had lunch at Fsherman's Wharf. I definitely remembered going there though I must admit, the stalls didn't look familiar to me.
Following that was a visit to The Rocks and no it's not some statue or rocks feature. It a shopping alley. There was some guy doing spray painting. I wanted to take a video but it wasn't allowed so sorry guys! But I managed to get a shark's tooth necklace!(: teehee.
So nothing much to say about shopping but afterwards we went driving around to find a place to park and eat. BTW parking is super expensive in Australia! Almost all our parking fees were above $30! and no I'm not kidding. So anyway, we passed by my old house in Paramatta and the park nearby where I remembered going to often when I was young! Oh and not forgetting my kidergaten school! Ahhh.... the memories...

Day 3
So day 3 was when the real travelling started. After leaving the hotel, I realised I forgot my camera in the room. Luckily when we went back, the room was still untouched so, BIG PHEW! And after breakfast was the 2 hour trip to Hunter's Valley. And you should have seen the city center! It was so secluded coz it was a Sunday! Such great lives they have.
Anyway, the day mostly included wine tasting and etc before we went to some posh restaurant to have our dinner. Trust me, it wasn't our first choice. It was coz most restaurants were closed by then and since Hunter's Valley was not a city area, there weren't many shops to start with.
So following that we went to Hunter's Garden for some Christmas light up and that was pretty much it (: Pretty relaxed day if I should say so myself.

Day 4
Day 4 was a killer. It began with a 4 hour ride to Nelson's Bay. Of course with breaks in between but still... We checked into the hotel before exploring the area. Since it was already 3-4 by the time we reached the beach, there wasn't much to do. So we just booked stuff for the next day and went to the supermarket before going back to the cabin. Our cabin was pretty much located at a caravan park. And it had this huge area in front of the house so some of us played Frisbee haha!

Day 5
For starters, we woke up really early so we could see dolphins haha! So we took the same boat as we did 10 years ago(: Quick fact, we met another group of Singaporeans that coincidentally took the same flight to and fro as us and were on the same route haha! And my cousin argued with the kid from that group. My father joked that he came all the way to Australia to quarrel with a Singaporean when he could do that in Singapore!
Anyway, afterwards we went to sandboard. Trust me it was freaking painful on the top of the hill. The wind was so strong and the sand just kept hitting you like no one's problem. Luckily we brought shades so at least we didn't go blind.
Following that we went to ride quad bikes. It was hella fun trust me! Everyone should definitely try it once in their lifetime. Even my grandma did HAHA! So as expected, at the end of the day, all of us were burnt out and our hair was full of sand and what not. But it was a great day nonetheless(:

Day 6
Nothing much to say about today actually. We travelled another 4 hours to Byron Bay and it practically just ended right there coz we had a real long lunch where most of us were buying souvenirs and shit.
On the bright side, we visited the beach haha.

Day 7
So today we had 2 hour trip to the Crystal Palace. Basically some Buddhist place and stuff which I didn't really understand but my aunt wanted to visit so... tadaaaa...
And then it was a ride to Gold Coast, Surfer's Paradise. We ended of the day shopping at some mall and that was it.

Day 8
Day 8 was pretty fun. After breakfast we made our way down to DreamWorld and the rides were pretty cool. I must admit, I wanted to go to MovieWorld actually.
DreamWorld was connected to WhiteWater which was pretty similar to Wild Wild Wet if I do say so myself. (Quick note: I REALLY WANNA GO WWW!!! Anyone?)
We didn't go to WhiteWater though. Mainly coz none of us brought swimming costumes. So yes we were kinda overdressed compared to the people there haha.

Day 9
Today wasn't very interesting so I shall just say we had some major shopping time haha!
Oh and BTW, I saw reindeers! Like actual ones with real horns!!! I always thought they were fake. Like deers with headbands or smth hahaha! Don't laugh,

Day 10
This was that day we flew home. We woke up at 5 freaking am WTF. I died I swear, On the plane I immediately crashed. But oh wells, at least I didn't die hehe.

So that was it. My trip to Australia. Sorry if it bored you or anything. (You didn't have to read it! HAHA.) But if you read up till here, thank you for enduring my long post hehe.
So I shall end off with this video. Enjoy.

Confused

I tried. How long more should I try before it becomes overly desperate?

SRJC Prom Night 2014

So yesterday was Prom.
I guess I've always had this wonderful idea about prom all my life...
But as one plan falls, the others fall along with it heh... Sighh I wish I didn't have expectations.
Yesterday was one of the most tiring days yet. I didn't expect it to be so hard but it was... Thankfully, JJ, Terr and Jon kept me company. Not exactly in person, but I'm thankful for them.
Especially Terr, coz he understood exactly how broken I felt and even wanted to come down and just hang out with me. Can't thank him enough.
Sighhh, I was practically zoning out through the whole night and basically just going through the motion. I guess things never go the way I plan. But I'm just glad I could see some of the friends I made in JC for the last time? (:
I really wish we could have worked things out... but I guess things seem pretty impossible right now. Just wish you understood how I feel. But I only have myself to blame since I don't like talking about my feelings.
Anyway, I'm exhausted.
Too many emotions, not enough words.
I just hope next time, things can turn out the way I hope ):
Alright, I'll let the photos do the talking and to end off, here's a video that perfectly describes how I feel right now.

I'm not the type to get my heart broken

I'm not the type to get upset and cry

'Cause I never leave my heart open

Never hurts me to say goodbye

Relationships don't get deep to me

Never got the whole 'in love' thing

And someone can say they love me truly

But at the time it didn't mean a thing

My mind is gone, I'm spinnin' 'round

And deep inside my tears I'll drown

I'm losin' grip, what's happenin'?

I strayed from love, this is how I feel

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition

And I've got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?

'Cause it's hurtin' me to let it go

Maybe 'cause we spent so much time

And I know that it's no more

I shoulda never let you hold me baby

Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart

I didn't give to you on purpose

Gotta figure out how you stole my heart

My mind is gone, I'm spinnin' 'round

And deep inside my tears I'll drown

I'm losin' grip, what's happenin'?

I stray from love, this is how I feel

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition

And I've got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you'll never see me cry

How did I get here with you I'll never know

I never meant to let it get so personal

And after all I tried to do, stay away from lovin' you

I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know

And I won't let it show, you won't see me cry

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition

And I've got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you'll never see me cry

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

(You'll never see me cry)

Now I'm in this condition

And I've got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you'll never see me cry

All my life.